yes that’s what we are. two incomplete, imperfect, insane people lost in this world wondering where we belong. arguing on insignificant issues, fighting for stupid things then forgiving each other for some unknown, incomprehensible reason. the world takes great pleasure in telling us that we are wrong but we both know we are trying our best to make things right. my words hit you hard yet you don’t listen, your expressions say it all yet I choose to ignore them. we want our space, we get it, and then we think about each other. i tried to erase your memory too often and found you in my favourite songs, in movie scenes, in my books. i don’t want to look at you sometimes and yet i miss you when i don’t find you around.
people might think we are happy cause we are laughing, but we know we are laughing cause we’ve been shouting our lungs out, and while doing it we cracked ourselves up. masks are many and i wear them too often but in front of you i unleash my true self – good, bad, ugly, and always insane. you don’t trust me i don’t trust you. and why should we? we both know how unpredictable we are. how stupid we are. how big emotional fools we are. how confused we are. how supremely short tempered we are. how menacingly destructive we are. how big ‘overthinkers’ we are. we both know how much we can hurt each other, and we both realise that everyday our ability to ‘hurt the other person’ keeps increasing.
hours fly like minutes in our crack-pot world. when we start talking people around us take a trip to the oblivion land. sometimes when we run out of words that crazy hypnotising eye contact of ours takes over. we never run out of issues. always got something to talk. we finish each others sentences and sometimes finish each others food. sometimes i act like a girl and you act like a dude. chaos is what we want to avoid but it’ll find us anyway. separation seems to be the favourable outcome but our differences bring us closer everyday. i don’t know when to stop you don’t know when to let go. everyday we stop ourselves a lot and then we just let things go with the flow.
(don’t know why suddenly everything is rhyming) let’s do each other a favour. let’s not think. we both are nuts. we both need to see a shrink. i am happy that i am not alone in this god forsaken world where everything is about making sense. i know i have someone with whom i can always fight and later mend the fence. loving you was not a mistake it was something natural. real, surreal, concrete is what we have, we have something actual.
i am angry i am pissed and i can go on and on. i want to fight with you and i don’t want to move on. and i know when you’ll smile i’ll forget everything i said. and this crazy little journey will continue till the time one of us is dead.
(thank you my dearest whack job in the world for making my life hell. without you it was too happy, boring and swell. no seriously.)