Monthly Archives: July 2012

Life doesn’t have a remote, get up and change it yourself.

And it’s not that tough!

Stop looking for remote. And if you find it don’t ever give it to anyone else! You are the one who should control your happiness. Control the volume of your laughter. Control the brightness of your smile. Control the contrasts of emotions.

Sometimes just flipping channels is the best philosophy. Till the time you find something you can finally settle down with. Switch between different hobbies, different kind of friends, even different jobs.

If you run out of batteries. Just pat it against your palm. It works mostly. And when it stops working, refresh it with new batteries. Take a break.

Find your prime time. The best time in the day, when you really feel good. Dedicate that time to yourself.

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You are very comfortable, black, hediously lime green, and you take the attention away from my bouncing tummy (when I jog).

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The art of distraction practiced through footwear. I, as many would know, am not blessed with a ‘Greek God’ physique. The only divine character my body can remind you of is that of a Laughing Buddha.

So these shoes work like magic. People in my park give them such disgusting stares, that the disgusting creature who’s wearing it and trying incessantly to touch his toes, but is failing by a margin of a yard, looks graceful. 🙂

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Some lessons that I learnt watching Cartoon Network. Like all cats are bitches.

1. Cats are bitches. This one’s especially applicable for Tom and Jerry. Whenever Tom came across a beautiful feline he was ready to go to any length to impress her. But not even in one episode he got his share of pussy (pun intended). Sometimes the bitch ended up kissing Jerry. Atleast pick someone from your own species!

2. You gotta do what you gotta do. Whether it’s stealing cheese from the refrigerator or planting a 23-step-trap (that is connected through a thread, and when triggered, it works on the principle of Domino effect) just to catch a mouse.

3. When you get hit. Get up. Wash all that carbon off your face (that was caused by the bomb that exploded in your hand 2 seconds ago). Grab a fly swatter. And start looking for that notoriously fast underdog brown mouse everyone is rooting for.

4. Spinach makes you strong. Till date Palak Paneer is my favourite dish.

5. Whether it’s stone age or jet age, it’s all about loving your family.

 

6. Superheroes wear their underwear wrong and always live under cover. Some are journalists/cameraman, some are rich brats, and some work in ad agencies writing copy.

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Looks like James Bond. Acts like Austin Powers.

If you haven’t seen Archer you are missing out on a lot. The douchiest spy ever, may fail to accomplish even the simplest of missions, but he successfully delivers a great show, full of stupidity, action, double entendres, misfired bullets, careless accidents, in almost every episode. And just like any other spy fiction / movie / novel / series / anecdote, the protagonist is surrounded by babes who can kick ass, and also, have a great ass. Lana Kane, who plays Archer’s partner is  a full bodied, Beyonce-like-bootilicious, extremely sensual, black secret agent. And then there are other girls that keep seducing Archer from time to time. Most of them, luckily, are Russian.

Great sequences. Extremely funny yet intelligent script. Well defined quirky roles of various characters. And a lot of action, packed with random acts of stupidity. This is one show I highly recommend. And so does IMDB (rated 8.9/10)!

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