Meet my new idol – Eric Cartman

Wikipedia defines Cartman as an obese, immature, spoiled, selfish, manipulative, lazy, foul-mouthed, deluded, mean-spirited, sadistic, racist, sexist, anti-semitic, homophobic, xenophobic, sociopathic, narcissistic, and ill-tempered elementary school student living with his unwed mother in the fictional town of South Park, Colorado, where he routinely has extraordinary experiences not typical of conventional small-town life.

Imagine meeting a kid like this!

Plus, he uses the most twisted, discriminatory and absolutely demented methods to solve the problems in his life. His voice is so shrill and irritating that if you tie up prisoners of war, make them wear noise cancellation headphones, and at gun point, force them to listen to Cartman’s voice, they’ll give you even the most classified information like location of nuclear missiles in no time.

Cartman is like a super villain in an 8 year old boy’s body. Or rather, an amalgamation of haunting, wicked, evil souls of every super villain ever known to humankind, in an 8 year old boy’s body. In one episode, to get back at an 8th grader, he makes a meticulous master plan to make the guy eat his parents. Sheer evil genius!

It’s easy to hate him, easier to love him, and easiest to remember his motto – “Screw you guys, I’m going home!”

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