Monthly Archives: June 2014

“Man, how can someone be so bad at decision making?” – Journal

Hi,

I am Shreyans’ journal. I am posting this without his knowledge. I am looking for help, guys. This guy is nuts. Do you even know how many times in a day he’d ask me stupid questions; like What am I doing with my life? Why love is so hard to find? Why do I keep going after the wrong girl? HOW WOULD I KNOW? I AM A FRIGGIN’ JOURNAL!

And did you know, he makes all his entries with a black-inked red Lamy. I mean, come on, give me some variety dude, some flavour, some ball pen action. Who uses an ink pen anyway? What year is it, 1882?

He carries me everywhere. In the dark abyss of his backpack, on the back seat of his car and sometimes even to a public restroom. Guys, I have seen so much of this guy. Quite literally.

Typos. I hate typos. But this guy, takes me for granted. No wonder, you are not getting laid dude, women like a man who can spell. Sigh!

Oh snap! He’s here. Guys, please rescue me. Break into his house at midnight, you’ll find me next to his bed. Take me somewhere far from this guy. I am sick of his stupid questions, his incessant ramblings, and his untimely writing pangs. SOS!

 

 

 

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I need a GPS for life.

Or Google maps. Whatever. Anything that deals with my piteous navigational abilities. Unlike a stereotypical male, I am not great with directions, but like any stereotypical male, I don’t stop and ask for directions. That’s a womanly trait. Isn’t it.

(I am sure I have lost all my female followers now)

I need this GPS because I am good with setting destinations, the figurative ones. But finding the shortest possible way to reach there is a bitch of a task. It should come with an auto-suggestion feature which should be synced with my moods.

Women mislead lost souls like me quite often, so I’d like a guy’s voice to help me in my pursuit of happiness. Preferably an English gentleman.

This GPS should lead me to happy hours and happier after hours. To lively jobs and lenient deadlines. To lost getaways and bustling markets. To new passions and old friends. To family and love.  To mountain sunrises and beach sunsets. To material wealth and spiritual treasure. To inspiration, wherever it might be hiding.

Just keep telling me whether to turn right or left; be the guiding voice, the instincts, the hunch. And please, take the route with lesser traffic. I hate waiting.

 

via WordPress for Phone http://goo.gl/j6Fzhf

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