Or Google maps. Whatever. Anything that deals with my piteous navigational abilities. Unlike a stereotypical male, I am not great with directions, but like any stereotypical male, I don’t stop and ask for directions. That’s a womanly trait. Isn’t it.
(I am sure I have lost all my female followers now)
I need this GPS because I am good with setting destinations, the figurative ones. But finding the shortest possible way to reach there is a bitch of a task. It should come with an auto-suggestion feature which should be synced with my moods.
Women mislead lost souls like me quite often, so I’d like a guy’s voice to help me in my pursuit of happiness. Preferably an English gentleman.
This GPS should lead me to happy hours and happier after hours. To lively jobs and lenient deadlines. To lost getaways and bustling markets. To new passions and old friends. To family and love. To mountain sunrises and beach sunsets. To material wealth and spiritual treasure. To inspiration, wherever it might be hiding.
Just keep telling me whether to turn right or left; be the guiding voice, the instincts, the hunch. And please, take the route with lesser traffic. I hate waiting.
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