Category Archives: Nuggets of Wis-dumb

#THINGSIAMTHANKFULFOR

  1. An uninterrupted supply of entertainment. Be it a hard drive full of movies, a good broadband connection to stream TV series or a good old fashioned TV with the new and advanced HD channels, I have it all.
  2. A pile of books that can make me wise. Now all I need to do is to pick them, wipe the thin layer of dust off them and turn a few pages.
  3. SO MANY FOOD APPS. I remember a few years back I had to think hard about where my next meal is coming from, now, I have to think hard about where my next meal is coming from.
  4. No addictions. Social media burst really did a number on me. I was active on way too many platforms. Now I feel repelled by most of the content and most of the people generating that meaningless content online.
  5. My old age. I know I’ve cribbed a lot in the past about a few grey hair on my head and what not. But shutting elders up (the pesky ones) just because you’ve achieved more than those monuments of cynicism ever could, is a feeling you couldn’t buy with money or Mastercard.
  6. Flaunt value. It’s kind of a wholesome achievement. You flaunt your skills, your wit, your possessions (the ones you dreamt of as a kid/teenager/jobless youth), your future plans (more when you are unreasonably ambitious like me).
  7. The possibilities. Unlike many people of my age who are settling down, I am still enthused about life and all that it has to offer me. Yes, leading a relatively unstable life is scary, but hey, even those who play safe die in the end.
  8. You guys. Who read, like and subscribe to my posts. Seriously why do all youtube videos end this way?

I’ll write more when I think of more. You have any?

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Stray dogs, hookers and shady guides. Before my first cup of tea the world looks quite different.

For us Indians, tea or ‘chai’ is a big thing. It won’t be an overstatement if we call it our national beverage. Right from a conversation stater to a wake up drink, from being the magic potion to impress a potential groom and his entire family for an arranged marriage to “It’s pretty cold I want something hot”, tea plays varied roles in an Indian’s life. But for me this beverage of commoners is very special.

I have a very simple formula for measuring happiness in my life is – my first cup of tea. I like to start my day by treating my self with a cup of hope, a pinch of optimism, boiled for 5 minutes of me-time and then I add thought/imagination to taste. The world seems a better place, everything just seems right, there’s a natural smile on my face as I sip my first beverage of the day.

But today was different. I woke up at 4am to catch an early train. And since there was no tea available an irrational fear was instilled in my heart. Something was not right. I came out in dark, walking through the lonely alleys of the city. Stray dogs looked at me ferociously, you flinch just a little and they are ready to pounce at you. Worried inside but nonchalant outside, I walked, praying that I don’t get bit. As soon as I crossed their territory I witnessed another pre-dawn phenomenon, a van with of two Afro-American men and three hookers. The women seemed North East Indian in origin. Every year several women from this region are brought into the other parts of the country for certain ‘specific’ roles. They were overdressed, a little too overdressed and were wearing too much of make up. Hate to be racial here but since they were with blacks they seemed a tad too ‘pimped up’.

Took an auto to the railway station. While I was searching for an ATM. The guides, the rickshaw pullers, the cabbies, the porters, the shady guy standing next to me, all of them thought I was a tourist. Or in other words their potential prey. It’s interesting how a backpack can make you look different. Still in search for my first cup of tea, I could smell something fishy all around me. I found an ATM after searching a lot, walking a lot and after getting a lot of stares. I don’t know whether it was my “I’m new in town look” or my angry birds T-shirt. As I entered, right next to the money vending machine was sleeping another stray dog! I felt scared and protected at the same time. Scared because I knew the ATM machine will beep, a lot, which might wake that dog up, and I know for a fact that I get cranky when I hear a beep when I sleeping. But since this area was full of muggers, pick picketers, I did feel protected as well. Thankfully, that dog was a sound sleeper unlike me.

While on my way back from the ATM, I saw another hooker, this was an Indian one, with a huge butterfly tattoo on her arm and her client on her side. I guess she was calling it a day, quite understandable, as it was 5am. But wait, here they go again. Seemed unbelievable in a conservative nation like India, in a public place, it’s not that you see such ‘professional action’ everyday.

Too many ‘new’ things were happening. I really needed something to calm me down, something more familiar, something more routine, something like my first cup of tea.

And I was about to enter the railway station, these two guys, cabbies started fighting. A good ol’ fist fight. People act very different before sunrise. They are kind of high maybe due to lack of sleep, with dark eye patches and an edgy attitude. One guy owed the other some money. And they decided to sort it out in front of a place full of cops. Really intelligent.

So even before the day had begun I had seen a lot of action. And my urge to have tea was at its peak. After a long walk to the platform I finally found it. A small IRCTC tea kiosk. For five buck I got my piece of mind. And a pack of glucose biscuit just added to my glee. With every sip my adrenaline levels calmed down and my serotonin levels rose, along with the sun. The world seemed all normal, surrounded by normal people, busy with their daily lives. Unaware of the crooked, scary, weird world around them. Maybe we all are just comfortably oblivious and ignorant to the dark realities of life  that come alive usually in the dark hours.

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Have sex with your work!

Because that’s the only way to enjoy it.
And please stop saying stuff like ‘work is worship’. Because we don’t keep magazines with pictures of the pope below our mattresses. Religion, for most of us is a mere obligation not an overwhelming experience. Our minds are trained to think dirty. Research suggests that an average human being thinks about sex every six seconds. But what if we turn this obsession of ours into something more productive. Like becoming the blue  eyed boy / girl at work.

Study Karmasutra

Be thorough with your work. Make sure you know anything and everything, because that’s when you really become an expert. Right?

Think of moves…new ones

How will you surprise your boss, your superior, your clients and most importantly yourself. Come up with something new every day. The idea is to mix and match. Sometimes be sober, sometimes crazy, sometimes passionate and sometimes, just be somebody else.

Do role plays

How would your boss do it? How would your office boy approach this problem? How would your client think? Think.

Use protection

Make sure your experiments don’t sabotage your working relationship with the people around.

Have fun

Isn’t that what it’s all about? If you love your work it loves you back. Don’t become a workaholic become a workaphilic (workaphile actually).

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Maybe life’s a bitch, but you don’t have to act like one!

Stop crying coz life taught you a lesson or two,
when all the conquerors can fall then who the f*** are you?

Stop hiding behind your past saying “I’ve been hurt”,
we all go thru pain and tears yet no one’s an expert.

Stop cribbing about bad luck and releasing negative vibes,
you don’t need money to be happy, learn from Sub Saharan tribes.

Stop slowing down when you should be speeding up,
life’s too short for over thinking and screwing it up.

Stop blaming others for your failures, act a little strong,
you create your own destiny, don’t get it? Then you are wrong.

Stop being so selfish and stop saying that you’ve been through shit,
problems are a part of life and we all have taken a hit.

Stop running away from the truth coz it’s gonna find you anyways,
being a good person is easy, and to start, there are many ways.

Stop treating people like puppets by using them at your will,
otherwise you’ll end up alone and pathetic, like a lonely old woman who lives up the hill…

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Confessions of an eternal wannabe…

At 5, I wanted to own an ice-cream parlour.
At 9, a superhero. And wearing my underwear over my pants seemed like a great idea. I even used to tuck my trouser bottoms into my socks in order to replicate the superhero-boot effect.
At 13, I wanted to shoot people, with a camera.
At 15, I wanted to shoot people. (Raging Hormones)
At 17, since I couldn’t get a camera or a gun, I got depressed. And ice cream has always cheered me up. So my ‘5yearold’ plan suddenly seemed like a nice idea.
At 19, I just wanted to own a bike and leave home. Alone.
At 21, I just wanted to get a job.
At 23, I just wanted to prove that I’m damn good, wanted to make a point.
At 25, now I just want to take my bike, leave for home early one day, alone, when there’s a lot of work, just to make a point.

 

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I want to write a poetry…

The problem is though I am an actor and I can mime
Have a heart, a bucket full of emotions, but I can’t rhyme

Haven’t been to a war, oh no, no way
Can’t write stories of bravery like Hemmingway

Live in a concrete jungle, rising or setting, can’t see the sun
The beauty of the night, the shimmer of the stars, can’t see none

Still in search for my Monalisa, I don’t have a muse
Women are so intriguing, forget inspiration, I get confuse

Being pretty young to narrate stories about how times have changed
Live a pretty standard boring life nothing special, nothing deranged

Dream to write about something meaningful something worthwhile
Don’t expect too much from it but I’ll be happy if it makes you smile

Imagination, expression and feelings will make my poetry
It’ll be about being human, being strong and being free

I want to write a poetry…
I want to write a poetry…

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Nobody takes care of you. Tons of expectations. Mistakes make you look like a moron. And what about the receding hairline?

  • Plus you have to pay taxes. And pretend as if you know why you pay it!
  • You have to say hasta la vista to siesta
  • There is no playtime. Only time for physical activities to make sure your waist doesn’t show how much you waste on junk food
  • Your innocent eyes don’t save you from your boss’ wrath
  • Summer vacations turn into just summers
  • Being friends with someone just because you both like the same candy flavour doesn’t happen anymore
  • A cold “wassup” replaces a warm hug
  • Crying has to be done very discreetly
  • Worse. You have to laugh cautiously
  • “Because I don’t want to” is not an acceptable answer
  • There are bigger problems in your life than homework. Like working from home
  • You have to stop asking stupid questions. And when you try to find their answers yourself the world calls you stupid
  • People laugh with you less, behind you, more
  • Nobody tells you “It’s Ok” anymore
  • Not many people think you are cute when you make crazy faces
  • Not many girls come towards you just to pinch your chubby cheeks
  • “What do you plan to do?” becomes more important than “What you are actually doing?”
  • You know a lot more now. You understand too many things. You feel several emotions. Enough to make you forget how you can stay happy for no reason
  • Smirks replace giggles
  • Cigarettes replace Lolly Pops
  • You grow big in size but your heart shrinks
  • Intelligence becomes more important than good intent
  • The only thing you share now are links on Facebook
  • The colours in your life are restricted to your wardrobe
  • Savings become more important than savouring every moment
  • And again you have to pay taxes and pretend as if you know why you pay it!

Do we all miss childhood or what?

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Creativity and Frustration

It’s not easy. It’s not supposed to be. Coming up with a creative solution is not an everyday thing, that’s why they are creative in the first place. But when you have to do it on an everyday basis, to earn your bread and butter, frustration becomes a part of life. (No idea what it’s like? Refer to the visual!)

But the beautiful irony here is that without having a great intensity of frustration it’s impossible to attain the highest level of serenity. Tougher it is, more is the satisfaction when you grab success with both hands. (Look at the visual and let your imagination run wild.)

I feel being a creative person is like being a superhero. Have you ever heard any of those cape crusaders say something like – “Nah! I didn’t sign up for that.” or “If I have to save the world I can’t do it in 10-minute-deadlines.” or “I deserve a raise or I ain’t fighting the bad guys.”

When you are creative you can think more, see more, visualise more, create more, experience more and do a lot more. But when you have this ability to do so much more, naturally you’ll be frustrated more than others. (Getting bored? Well, in that case look at the profound visual again.)

The biggest challenge about being creative is doing something that matters and doing it the way it has never been done before. Achieving the former half is relatively easy. But for the latter half one has to push oneself constantly. It’s never easy but it’s always worth it. Being creative is all about being insane yet making sense, but mostly we face problems when we start acting normal. Because a creative person should be everything but normal. Mainly because there’s nothing noteworthy about being normal, I would rather stay frustrated, stay foolish, stay hungry (just like Mr. Jobs said) to stay creative. More than talent it’s a state of mind. Conditioning your mind to stay frustrated yet stay positive. (If I’m not making much sense look at the great visual one more time and just move on. Gosh! What all you can find on Google…)

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Status Quo or Change Quotient. Take your pick.

Same old stuff or something new? Everyday routine or something refreshing? Your regular or chef’s special? Most of the people prefer the ‘usual’ usually. Because it’s an easy option or a no-brainer. But what’s ironic is that we complain that are lives are not exciting enough.

Well, one possible reason is that we are too stuck with the ‘tried and tested’. Just because you take black coffee with no sugar doesn’t mean one day you can’t opt for mango slush instead, and have a blueberry cheesecake along with it. Just to shake things up. Yes, you are not going to win a lottery everyday, your life’s not going to change drastically in a jiffy, but just doing something that’s ‘not you’ might make you feel happy and excited. One day just take a different route to your office or a different medium of transport, or just take an off for no reason (I hope my boss doesn’t read this), or just say hi to your office janitor whom you usually ignore everyday. You’ll feel something different and most probably something nice about yourself.

We give way too much importance to our everyday lives, we become a black coffee with no sugar person, we become a subway person, we become  accounts department-fourth floor-8th cubicle from the right person, we become a person who just wants to finish the day’s work to go home to live our everyday lives.

They say familiarity breeds contempt. We become so familiar, so used to being us that we stop respecting ourselves, we forget that we can be a lot more. We forget that we can surprise ourselves. We make our status quo our modus vivendi, our lifestyle, an integral part of our personality. But the irony is that no matter how much you love being the daily you, life will change you, right from your hairline to your waist line, your opinions, your relationships, your dreams, your expectations, everything.

Having a Change Quotient, however, helps better. Not just embrace change, look forward to it, enjoy it, be ready for it, be excited about it. Yes, new things are a little scary, but that doesn’t mean they are not worth trying. Yes, you might fail but life is not a Mortal Combat game where you can achieve flawless victory in every encounter. And if there is one saying that has stood the test of time is “change is the biggest constant”. So, isn’t it pretty simple? Wanna find happiness in this ever-changing world, develop a Change Quotient.

How do you do it?

  • By letting yourself go, stop being a control freak, stop trying too hard
  • Stop cribbing,  smile instead
  • Tell your self if old is gold, new is not bad either
  • By believing that heaven is not going to fall if you try to change a few things
  • Experiment, a lot
  • Discard the fear of failure, most of the times it’s stupid and unproductive
  • Get rid of those inner demons like apprehensions, presumptions, prejudice, cowardice, and believes like “I cannot do this”
  • Ask me or some other pseudo shrink for further details 🙂
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Dear Tears, please don’t have a mind of your own.

You are supposed to listen to me. I create you. I drink gallons of water everyday so my eyes stay liquidated. That’s your job, not overflowing. Especially not in front of people. Please don’t do it. It’s my humble request.

I’ve trained my mind to smile in tough situations. I like to think of myself as an expert of reverse psychology. Please don’t come out uninvited and prove that I’m just like any other emotional fool. Please be obedient and listen to me.

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