Tag Archives: hahahaha

He types HAHAHA with a straight face and sends emoticons when he runs out of words.

He woke up on a Tuesday morning and realised that he was late for work. Not late like ‘holy shit, it’s 10 am and I’ve missed a meeting’ late. Real life is not that dramatic you know. He was late by his ideal and a very ambitious wake up time, understandably so, because he missed his ideal ‘go to bed and sleep’ time, by a couple of hours. Sigh! His smart phone really makes him do dumb things.

He isn’t known to make great decisions and he goes to sleep again, because that’s how he competes with his failures, big or small. It’s 10 am and now he is late for real.

He does what he does everyday, miss his exercise and breakfast so he can later crib about his not-so-healthy lifestyle taking long drags of the cancer stick. He takes great pleasure in helping irony write itself.

He sits for hours in front of a computer and stands with his head down looking at the portable screen. He is more wired to the word and less connected to himself. He types HAHAHA with a straight face and sends emoticons when he runs out of words. He leaves office early like he has to be somewhere, drives his car through the same roads, listening to the same music, going past the same houses, sheltering almost the same thoughts he had yesterday… he reaches the same destination – the place he calls home.

Wait, he just lived his yesterday again and it looks hauntingly familiar to the day before that. He lives just one day, again and again. He is a victim of routine. He wonders how did he come this far and what he has become while scrolling for answers over the internet, finding solace with other victims; strangers he can empathise with. People who are like him – stuck, confused and capable of so much more.

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Creativity and Frustration

It’s not easy. It’s not supposed to be. Coming up with a creative solution is not an everyday thing, that’s why they are creative in the first place. But when you have to do it on an everyday basis, to earn your bread and butter, frustration becomes a part of life. (No idea what it’s like? Refer to the visual!)

But the beautiful irony here is that without having a great intensity of frustration it’s impossible to attain the highest level of serenity. Tougher it is, more is the satisfaction when you grab success with both hands. (Look at the visual and let your imagination run wild.)

I feel being a creative person is like being a superhero. Have you ever heard any of those cape crusaders say something like – “Nah! I didn’t sign up for that.” or “If I have to save the world I can’t do it in 10-minute-deadlines.” or “I deserve a raise or I ain’t fighting the bad guys.”

When you are creative you can think more, see more, visualise more, create more, experience more and do a lot more. But when you have this ability to do so much more, naturally you’ll be frustrated more than others. (Getting bored? Well, in that case look at the profound visual again.)

The biggest challenge about being creative is doing something that matters and doing it the way it has never been done before. Achieving the former half is relatively easy. But for the latter half one has to push oneself constantly. It’s never easy but it’s always worth it. Being creative is all about being insane yet making sense, but mostly we face problems when we start acting normal. Because a creative person should be everything but normal. Mainly because there’s nothing noteworthy about being normal, I would rather stay frustrated, stay foolish, stay hungry (just like Mr. Jobs said) to stay creative. More than talent it’s a state of mind. Conditioning your mind to stay frustrated yet stay positive. (If I’m not making much sense look at the great visual one more time and just move on. Gosh! What all you can find on Google…)

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Status Quo or Change Quotient. Take your pick.

Same old stuff or something new? Everyday routine or something refreshing? Your regular or chef’s special? Most of the people prefer the ‘usual’ usually. Because it’s an easy option or a no-brainer. But what’s ironic is that we complain that are lives are not exciting enough.

Well, one possible reason is that we are too stuck with the ‘tried and tested’. Just because you take black coffee with no sugar doesn’t mean one day you can’t opt for mango slush instead, and have a blueberry cheesecake along with it. Just to shake things up. Yes, you are not going to win a lottery everyday, your life’s not going to change drastically in a jiffy, but just doing something that’s ‘not you’ might make you feel happy and excited. One day just take a different route to your office or a different medium of transport, or just take an off for no reason (I hope my boss doesn’t read this), or just say hi to your office janitor whom you usually ignore everyday. You’ll feel something different and most probably something nice about yourself.

We give way too much importance to our everyday lives, we become a black coffee with no sugar person, we become a subway person, we become  accounts department-fourth floor-8th cubicle from the right person, we become a person who just wants to finish the day’s work to go home to live our everyday lives.

They say familiarity breeds contempt. We become so familiar, so used to being us that we stop respecting ourselves, we forget that we can be a lot more. We forget that we can surprise ourselves. We make our status quo our modus vivendi, our lifestyle, an integral part of our personality. But the irony is that no matter how much you love being the daily you, life will change you, right from your hairline to your waist line, your opinions, your relationships, your dreams, your expectations, everything.

Having a Change Quotient, however, helps better. Not just embrace change, look forward to it, enjoy it, be ready for it, be excited about it. Yes, new things are a little scary, but that doesn’t mean they are not worth trying. Yes, you might fail but life is not a Mortal Combat game where you can achieve flawless victory in every encounter. And if there is one saying that has stood the test of time is “change is the biggest constant”. So, isn’t it pretty simple? Wanna find happiness in this ever-changing world, develop a Change Quotient.

How do you do it?

  • By letting yourself go, stop being a control freak, stop trying too hard
  • Stop cribbing,  smile instead
  • Tell your self if old is gold, new is not bad either
  • By believing that heaven is not going to fall if you try to change a few things
  • Experiment, a lot
  • Discard the fear of failure, most of the times it’s stupid and unproductive
  • Get rid of those inner demons like apprehensions, presumptions, prejudice, cowardice, and believes like “I cannot do this”
  • Ask me or some other pseudo shrink for further details 🙂
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The Mighty SMILEacus

Meet the warrior of the 21st century. A slave of the mighty corporate empire. A gladiator who fights against the odds everyday; the ones that are referred as deadlines in the modern times. Challenges are big in front of him, always. And they are better armed, always. His Colosseum is just a 4×4 ft cubicle. And his boss gives him a thumbs up or thumbs down from his cabin. He doesn’t lives for anyone’s approval, but for his survival he needs it. People around him boo him when he underperforms and cheer for him when he pushes himself hard, but the truth is they don’t really care about him. He is just a mere source of entertainment to them. Who knew that gladiators would one day play a role of a jester. A really wild, violent and bleeding joker.

His only weapon, his only chance of survival, his only shot at glory is his SMILE. He smiles when he feels weak or alone or defeated or hurt. He thinks of freedom, he smiles. He thinks of his family, he smiles. He dreams, he smiles. Smiling for him is not just a way to stay optimistic but a way to live life, a strategy to survive the big blows that he gets in this everyday bleeding battle called life.

(The figure actually depicts a Spartan helmet and not a Gladiator helmet. I chose it since it was easy to draw!)

 

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Where do I see myself in the next leap year…

FEB 29. This is the the seventh time we are meeting. I don’t see you that often. It’s not your fault. All those glorified astrologers / astronomers / calendar makers / date setters couldn’t really figure out how long an actual year is so they came up with you.

Which brings me to the eternal question –  How old is a person who is born on FEB 29? And when exactly should their birthday be celebrated when it’s not a leap year? Feb 28 or Mar 1?

Well, thank god I’m not one of them. But there is another question that I would like to ask myself. Where do I see myself in the next leap year, i.e. 2016 (keeping Mayan’s prophecy of doomsday aside and keeping the eternal hope of survival in our hearts alive).

  • I hope I will stop monologuing here and will have a decent number of followers for this blog
  • I hope I will become a creative director
  • I hope I will pursue my dream of film making OR going on a world tour OR having a girlfriend for that matter
  • I hope I’ll still have these strong shiny hair and not even a minute bald spot
  • I hope I will learn cooking; actual cooking not just making instant noodles and other survival food
  • I hope my Harley Davidson will be parked in my garage and not just in my dreams
  • I hope I’ll have a garage and a home attached to it
  • I hope I’ll have atleast two more tattoos
  • I hope that by the next leap year comes I’ll stop hoping and start having 🙂
  • And finally, I hope I can be a better 29-year-old human being by the time the next FEB 29 comes around
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Dear Ray Ban,

image

For 2100 bucks, at the age of 21, you were one of my first biggest investments. And since then both of us have come a long way. At that time, I just wanted to replicate the Tom-Cruise-Top-Gun look. With time, the looks kept changing but you were always there, you became more than just a fashion accessory. You became my buddy.

Soon I realized the true powers of your jet black slightly convex lenses, they made my eyes invisible. They acted like a shield. With you, I had the powers of concealing my emotions. With a little bit of eye and neck movement training I could checkout any girl, ogle at her, at length, and she would have no clue what I was up to (sorry ladies, but that’s how 21-year-olds think).

By the time I was 23. I was on my own. Independent and Scared. Metropolitans are great, but initially they are a little tough to get used to. Especially, when your eyes reflect innocence and naivety. They say –“Hi, I’m new here and you can easily exploit me.” Well, that’s what happens when your face has round edges, when your hair are neatly combed to the left, and your eyes have a baby-like-curiosity. Then I took you out of your brown case and wore you whenever I was out. And as they say looks can be deceiving, now I looked mature, experienced and ready to take on the world, well that’s how bully autowallas, greedy shopkeepers, my landlord and many others started perceiving me. Thank you for saving my ass!

Then you did me the biggest favour, when I really needed it, when time was really tough, when I was really alone. There were moments in my life when stopping my tears was not in my control and they came out without any prior notification. In front of strangers, in public transport, in markets, in office, anywhere and everywhere. Thanks to your two-inch-long frame it was easy to control those two inches of initial tears. And behind those dark glasses I could hide my black tears (metaphorical, of course).

Thank you for not making me look vulnerable when I really was. Thank you for making me invisible when I just didn’t want to be seen. Thank you for all those admiring glances I got from the fairer sex because of the tuff-guy image that you gave me. Thank you for saving me from getting bullied. Thank you for saving my eyes from ultra violet rays, afterall that’s what you were supposed to do, initially.

Thank You,
Shreyans

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How a 70 mm script fits perfectly into a 70-year-odd life!

Assuming that’s how much an average human life span would be…(you do get the idea don’t you)!

1. “I’m going to make you an offer you can’t refuse.”

Had to start with the ‘godfather of all movie dialogues’. Say it once and no matter what you propose after that, how cliche the suggestion might be, it’ll sound impressive. Suitable situations for this dialogue would be a job interview, getting rid of that scumbag who’s after your daughter and thinks he’s in love with her, resolving a feud between you and your neighbour about the common wall and legal issues that stop you from doing some illegal construction!

2. “You talkin to me?”

It had everything. Style, attitude and Robert De Niro in a bad ass role. Throughout my college life I have restated it numerous times. And I beg your pardon for being cocky, but I did it better than the original. Girls kinda get iffy and boys get intimidated if you say this with the right expression and tilted neck and slanted torso, just get your directions and body postures right. And you would be able to carry that ‘don’t mess with me’ look.

3. “Show me the money!”

C’mon, just imagine all the possibilities you can have with this one.  I tell this to my boss on my payday (in my head of course).

4. “I’ll be back.”

I’ve overdone it. Yes, I have. But the magic in this dialogue is only when you you do it with a mechanical posture, ‘I can’t act cause I have robotic expressions’, and a fake Austrian accent. Try it. It’s not that tough. Another memorable one from the same series is “Hasta la vista, baby.”

5. “You had me at ‘hello.'”

Well, we all were pleased to meet someone at some point of time in our lives. Think of it. This one might just perfectly describe it.

6. “I see dead people.”

Ok. Sorry for being dark here but you can say it either when you actually see a dead person Or when someone is so scared that they say something like “Man I’m so dead.” This one will surely make you sound spontaneous.

Some of my other favourites are – “You can’t handle the truth!”“Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” | “Bond. James Bond” | “A martini. Shaken, not stirred.”
Don’t really know where can I use them.

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25 years. 25 realizations.

Quarter of a century gone. Tomorrow I turn 25. Suddenly I feel old, but with old age comes good ‘ol wisdom.

Here are 25 things that I have learnt till now:

  1. Sometimes life looks a lot complicated, but it’s actually kinda simple…it’s is all about being happy.
  2. In a dog eat dog world, we all start as underdogs. It’s only your will that makes you the alpha dog. Till that time be ready to be treated like a bitch (I am not a dog lover but this is what happens when you watch way too many Hindi movies…).
  3. Knife in right hand, fork in left (it took me a lot of time to get it right, we Indians usually eat with our hands).
  4. Peanut butter sucks.
  5. Jalapeno gives me sour burps.
  6. It always pays to follow your dreams. If you are lucky like me, the payment becomes your paycheck.
  7. No matter how much you earn it’ll always look like peanuts.
  8. Beyond a point, talent dosen’t matter. Right attitude is the best talent one can have or develop over a period of time.
  9. Experiment. Experiment. Experiment.
  10. Choose a role model. If you can’t, choose yourself.
  11. When you drive rashly to impress, nobody notices. When you bump into a tree, nobody misses it.
  12. Books are your best friend. Movies are your girlfriends.
  13. Sports make you fit. Games make you fat.
  14. When you have to open a lock with bunch of keys in your hand and you don’t know which is the right key. Don’t go hit and trial, just read the brand name of the lock and match it with the name embossed on the key.
  15. Opinions are overrated. Onions are overpriced.
  16. Not everything in life has to make sense.
  17. Black-coloured-clothes can give the illusion that you have lost weight overnight.
  18. The most important skill in life is understanding people OR is it being able to fix your own car…hmmm!
  19. If you are interesting you will always have friends. If you are too interesting for them, you will lose them.
  20. In the end it all evens out.
  21. “Life’s not fair. Get used to it.” – Donald Trump
  22. “You haven’t lost if you are still breathing.” – Shreyans Gupta
  23. Marriage is an institution. Where 95% of the people can’t score more than B-.
  24. Biscuits/cookies are a bachelor’s survival food.
  25. 🙂 ; Always, no matter what!
  26. Always go the extra mile even if it means giving your readers the 26th point when you promised 25.
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