Tag Archives: life

UNFRIEND NON-BELIEVERS.

And no, I’m not talking about the ones who criticise you to make you better. I’m not talking about friends who pull your leg when you fail. In fact, maybe it’s not about other individuals. Unfriend the little pesky non-believer in you if you have to.

The reasons for doing so:

  • These are people who never had their own “Everest”, so it’s not just that they don’t believe in you, they are probably incapable of understanding you. Isn’t that the first premise of any friendship/relationship?
  • Their doubt is contagious. Even if your will is as strong and determined as Mohd Ali, sometimes these naysayers punch you out with their expert negative logic (secret: they put weights of their failed past in their boxing gloves).
  • They sometimes make sense. And that’s the most dangerous part. If Edmund Hillary had a friend like this who constantly told him drop the very risky plan to conquer Mt. Everest, it would still be a virgin peak. Men who like to be on top, gimme 5!
  • They will always be there to say, “I told you so” and if your dreams are big you’ll have many failures; you don’t want that kinda negative energy around you when you are already down.
  • If you could time travel, you’d know these people won’t do anything spectacular with their lives. They would happily be the puppet of time/situation/peer pressure/so-called-righteousness/system/government/dysfunctional family and of course luck.
  • So unfriend them today, because an year from now you would regret not taking an action even though a great post warned you about these demons who feed on your dreams.

Good night.

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Don’t let your dreams take the backseat.

It has already happened for most of us and we don’t even notice it. The daily grind is so overwhelming that we forget what we really intend to do. ‘Pursuit of happiness’ awaits while the mundane duties/responsibilities/routine  consumes us.

We’ve found our comfort zone in living the same day, every day. There’s something peaceful about a life with ‘no surprises’ and we are getting too used to it.

Buddha once said, “the problem is that you think you have time” and this captures our lifestyle in one line. We are waiting for a miracle to happen, for stars to line up, for perfect opportunity to show itself, for something to happen while we live the ‘busy’ life.

Ask yourself – what’s keeping you busy? And can it keep you happy forever? The answer might help you prioritise your life better.

 

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He types HAHAHA with a straight face and sends emoticons when he runs out of words.

He woke up on a Tuesday morning and realised that he was late for work. Not late like ‘holy shit, it’s 10 am and I’ve missed a meeting’ late. Real life is not that dramatic you know. He was late by his ideal and a very ambitious wake up time, understandably so, because he missed his ideal ‘go to bed and sleep’ time, by a couple of hours. Sigh! His smart phone really makes him do dumb things.

He isn’t known to make great decisions and he goes to sleep again, because that’s how he competes with his failures, big or small. It’s 10 am and now he is late for real.

He does what he does everyday, miss his exercise and breakfast so he can later crib about his not-so-healthy lifestyle taking long drags of the cancer stick. He takes great pleasure in helping irony write itself.

He sits for hours in front of a computer and stands with his head down looking at the portable screen. He is more wired to the word and less connected to himself. He types HAHAHA with a straight face and sends emoticons when he runs out of words. He leaves office early like he has to be somewhere, drives his car through the same roads, listening to the same music, going past the same houses, sheltering almost the same thoughts he had yesterday… he reaches the same destination – the place he calls home.

Wait, he just lived his yesterday again and it looks hauntingly familiar to the day before that. He lives just one day, again and again. He is a victim of routine. He wonders how did he come this far and what he has become while scrolling for answers over the internet, finding solace with other victims; strangers he can empathise with. People who are like him – stuck, confused and capable of so much more.

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SCREW POLITENESS.

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As a nation we put a lot of stress on “Tehzeeb”. Being polite gets us in all kinds of trouble. I have seen many of my friends suffer in a bad job, because just when they were about to quit their boss asked them to stay, politely.

Our “I don’t want to hurt him/her” feelings keep us in stuck in bad relationships/friendships. Hurt that bugger, you know you want to!

By being extra polite on many instances like this you get very rude to yourself.

You deny yourself the right to happiness/ease/whatever-I-want-to-do.

All this for what? I’d rather be rude/impolite/inappropriate/selfish and happy.

This cloak of greatness that our parents/teachers/society wanted us to wear is too heavy for my shoulders. It’s reminds me of those cheap woollen blankets that keep things warm for some time but then ruin it with a lot of static charge stored under it.

I trust people who swear a lot. They are honest in my opinion and they fear nothing.

I don’t trust people who judge other people a lot. I think we all have reasons to be who we are and how we are.

There’s nothing wrong in being extra polite. It’s just not a happy choice for me.

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Don’t make resolutions. Fall in love instead.

Love will change you better than any conscious effort you will make to turn your life around.

Love money: I recently discovered how powerful its addiction is. Earlier I was one of those ‘you can’t buy me’ kind of guys. Thanks to my naivety, I ended up working for peanuts and sometimes just to earn good will. Don’t do it, put a price to your skills and charge is brazenly. The world makes you feel guilty when you ask for more money, it’s a trap one should never fall for. Having said that, don’t sell your soul to the devil. Don’t do something you don’t believe in just because you got greedy. Falling in love with money makes you independent, organised, a little arrogant and very very confident. 

Love what you already love: it can be reading classics or playing the djembe or it could be an idea of something you’d love to do like fishing or mountaineering. The idea is to give it as much time as you can. Falling in love with something you already love will make you secure, calm, focussed and nonchalant.

Love yourself: because this is the ultimate motivation. When you love yourself you want to change yourself for better. Not because others are better than you but because you know you can better yourself. You invest your time in people who make you happy, you lose some battles willingly because you know better things deserve your energy, you become selfish enough to not fret so much about others and the headaches they want to force upon you. You respect yourself enough to not give much thought to how others perceive you. Falling in love with yourself makes you happy.

I would love to say love someone, but I guess that’s just not something you have control over. But if you do get a chance, don’t hesitate.

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Want faster downloading of clarity.

I waste a lot of time weighing my options. The eternal battle of what I want now and what I want most takes a toll on me.

While one thought and all its possible  consequences buffer, a new desire pop ups in the mind.

Way too many seeders around with torrents of unsolicited advice; make the matters worse.

A big bucket list becomes a burden when priorities are not clear. It’s like having a book mark tab of URLs you want to check regularly, but you just can’t find time to do it.

Keep your distance from leachers. They are exceptionally good at screwing your bandwidth with their negativity and lack of ambition.

Find hotspots; it can be time with your friends and family or time alone. For me, early mornings in the park are magical.

Of course, most importantly, get a better connection. To your soul. Develop a sixth sense. Listen to that meek voice inside your head, no not the logical one, the one that feels wrong, but so right at the same time.

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72 hours of continuous work turned me into a zombie. And surprisingly, a better person too.

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So you are informed late Friday evening that you are supposed to work on a pitch for a major electronic brand. As a result you cancel your vacation and decide to stay back in office, because you would rather live a hectic life than enjoy Maa ke haath ka khana. 

For two straight days after working in multiple directions we were lost. Me and my art partner. Primary reason, there was no senior to lead us.

Lesson 1: No matter how talented you are, you can get confused if you lack direction.

Sunday morning our boss came from Mumbai, and as I introduced him to our massive creative block. He said, “Good that you are confused, so am I”.

Lesson 2: No matter how talented and experienced you are, it’s okay to be confused and lost sometimes.

Those words calmed me down. And at that very moment I knew we’ll make it through. We spent next hour and a half doing something very productive. Any guesses? Cracking jokes and discussing anecdotes.

Lesson 3: Come what may, never lose your sense of humour.

Next day was the presentation, and by evening we were half done with our ads. And I was told to go and supervise editing of not one but two montages that we would present to our client. And all we had was the night. I rushed to the studio. With an aim to put around 70 odd images in two films and make some sense out of it in just a matter of eight hours. And as you know I was in prime shape working for last 48 hours. 3 hours through the editing I saw pictures of a little girl on the wall. I asked the guy who was she, and at that very moment, he left his mouse, pushed his key board aside, smiled at the pictures and told me that her daughter’s name was Shreya.

Lesson 4: Families are magical.

By the time it was 5 AM, I became less of a creative guy and more of a manager, because our meeting was scheduled at 9 and we were just half way through in the editing of our first film. My chop-chop-chop approach was annoying the editor, and more importantly, it was annoying me, but timeline was  a bitch and I had to act like one too.

We completed both the films somehow. But then…files were not getting recorded on a DVD. Errors.

Lesson 4: Always keep buffer time for Murphy’s Law to play its course.

I rushed back to office, but guess what, it was  Monday morning to traffic had to be at its peak. As soon as I reached office, I was hoping that nothing else goes wrong. And luckily that was the end of it. My bosses took the films and left for the presentation and I went back home early stinking badly with hair that were going everywhere. Thinking that this 72 hours of blockbuster action was blog-worthy…

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Life doesn’t have a remote, get up and change it yourself.

And it’s not that tough!

Stop looking for remote. And if you find it don’t ever give it to anyone else! You are the one who should control your happiness. Control the volume of your laughter. Control the brightness of your smile. Control the contrasts of emotions.

Sometimes just flipping channels is the best philosophy. Till the time you find something you can finally settle down with. Switch between different hobbies, different kind of friends, even different jobs.

If you run out of batteries. Just pat it against your palm. It works mostly. And when it stops working, refresh it with new batteries. Take a break.

Find your prime time. The best time in the day, when you really feel good. Dedicate that time to yourself.

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Creativity and Frustration

It’s not easy. It’s not supposed to be. Coming up with a creative solution is not an everyday thing, that’s why they are creative in the first place. But when you have to do it on an everyday basis, to earn your bread and butter, frustration becomes a part of life. (No idea what it’s like? Refer to the visual!)

But the beautiful irony here is that without having a great intensity of frustration it’s impossible to attain the highest level of serenity. Tougher it is, more is the satisfaction when you grab success with both hands. (Look at the visual and let your imagination run wild.)

I feel being a creative person is like being a superhero. Have you ever heard any of those cape crusaders say something like – “Nah! I didn’t sign up for that.” or “If I have to save the world I can’t do it in 10-minute-deadlines.” or “I deserve a raise or I ain’t fighting the bad guys.”

When you are creative you can think more, see more, visualise more, create more, experience more and do a lot more. But when you have this ability to do so much more, naturally you’ll be frustrated more than others. (Getting bored? Well, in that case look at the profound visual again.)

The biggest challenge about being creative is doing something that matters and doing it the way it has never been done before. Achieving the former half is relatively easy. But for the latter half one has to push oneself constantly. It’s never easy but it’s always worth it. Being creative is all about being insane yet making sense, but mostly we face problems when we start acting normal. Because a creative person should be everything but normal. Mainly because there’s nothing noteworthy about being normal, I would rather stay frustrated, stay foolish, stay hungry (just like Mr. Jobs said) to stay creative. More than talent it’s a state of mind. Conditioning your mind to stay frustrated yet stay positive. (If I’m not making much sense look at the great visual one more time and just move on. Gosh! What all you can find on Google…)

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Status Quo or Change Quotient. Take your pick.

Same old stuff or something new? Everyday routine or something refreshing? Your regular or chef’s special? Most of the people prefer the ‘usual’ usually. Because it’s an easy option or a no-brainer. But what’s ironic is that we complain that are lives are not exciting enough.

Well, one possible reason is that we are too stuck with the ‘tried and tested’. Just because you take black coffee with no sugar doesn’t mean one day you can’t opt for mango slush instead, and have a blueberry cheesecake along with it. Just to shake things up. Yes, you are not going to win a lottery everyday, your life’s not going to change drastically in a jiffy, but just doing something that’s ‘not you’ might make you feel happy and excited. One day just take a different route to your office or a different medium of transport, or just take an off for no reason (I hope my boss doesn’t read this), or just say hi to your office janitor whom you usually ignore everyday. You’ll feel something different and most probably something nice about yourself.

We give way too much importance to our everyday lives, we become a black coffee with no sugar person, we become a subway person, we become  accounts department-fourth floor-8th cubicle from the right person, we become a person who just wants to finish the day’s work to go home to live our everyday lives.

They say familiarity breeds contempt. We become so familiar, so used to being us that we stop respecting ourselves, we forget that we can be a lot more. We forget that we can surprise ourselves. We make our status quo our modus vivendi, our lifestyle, an integral part of our personality. But the irony is that no matter how much you love being the daily you, life will change you, right from your hairline to your waist line, your opinions, your relationships, your dreams, your expectations, everything.

Having a Change Quotient, however, helps better. Not just embrace change, look forward to it, enjoy it, be ready for it, be excited about it. Yes, new things are a little scary, but that doesn’t mean they are not worth trying. Yes, you might fail but life is not a Mortal Combat game where you can achieve flawless victory in every encounter. And if there is one saying that has stood the test of time is “change is the biggest constant”. So, isn’t it pretty simple? Wanna find happiness in this ever-changing world, develop a Change Quotient.

How do you do it?

  • By letting yourself go, stop being a control freak, stop trying too hard
  • Stop cribbing,  smile instead
  • Tell your self if old is gold, new is not bad either
  • By believing that heaven is not going to fall if you try to change a few things
  • Experiment, a lot
  • Discard the fear of failure, most of the times it’s stupid and unproductive
  • Get rid of those inner demons like apprehensions, presumptions, prejudice, cowardice, and believes like “I cannot do this”
  • Ask me or some other pseudo shrink for further details 🙂
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